In reading Briefs in this morning's Spokesman-Review, I spit out my coffee as I read where Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn is lowering standards for new police hires. It seems the mayor doesn't feel his officers adequately represent the average Seattle citizen. Now that Pot is legal, he is going to allow his recruits to more accurately reflect the community standards.
Vissible tattoos on the face and neck along with a history of pot smoking no longer will disqualify a police recruit. Several images popped into my head at that point.
Officer pulls a violator over for speeding. Approaching the car, said officer, sprouting scraggly facial hair, kill the pigs tats and other previously disqualifications ain't the deal anymore. Here's an example.
The past officer: "Sir, do you know why I stopped you?" No sir, I was only going 25 mph." Yes sir, I understand that. are you aware the speed limit here is 70mph?" "Um no sir. Am I in trouble?" Yes sir. Would you please step out of your car? ... If you can?
New officer: Approaching the speeder: Officer: "yo Dude, you cool with me today?" Right on, pal. Wuzzup? Well You looked kind of strange when you drove by so I figured I best check you out." May I see your um ... work permit ... no, receipt from Walmart?... That thingy that they give you so's you be jiggy wit the rules." "Oh, you mean this drivers license?"
Ya man, dat's it. Hey, dude, that be a bunch of cash you got there. Mind me borrowing say $50.00 so's I can score a lid? Driver: No sir. Anything else I can do for you? "Well, now that you mention it, My rent is due too. Can you help out a neighbor? Sure pal, Now I gotta run. Take care sir.
"Right on, dude. "
Seattle just isn't the same as it was when I lived there.
Cutline Contest -- 6.30.15
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